Forgiveness, a lesson from Nelson Mandela

Everything has been said about Mandela, from his life before prison, in prison, after prison, his presidency, after the presidency, to his death, and burial as a hero.
What amazed me the most with Mandela besides his consistency, was his ability to forgive, such a wonderful being. How did he manage to achieve this?
Forgiveness is not an easy task, I don't mean to tolerate but to forgive. People usually confuse tolerance with forgiveness, which is why we easily use the word "I forgive you" quite often when we are being apologized. 

Forgiveness is the absence of anger at what has been done wrong to us, also a gesture of good faith, towards the perpetrators of the bad behavior that has hurt us.

What I've noticed with an act of forgiveness is that, the authors wonder if it's a ruse or a strategy for a well-timed revenge. Those who have been forgiven cannot understand it, especially in the case of President Mandela, deprived of his freedom, tortured and humiliated for years.
Forgive your enemy who doesn't even repent, apologize - thinking we were at war - the enemy must be crushed - no apologies but negotiations - that's what it costs when your enemy is stronger than you - forgiveness is an act of great courage and wisdom.
Mandela hated the apartheid regime, willing to give his life to destroy this regime, so, Mandela became a "terrorist" for his ennemies,  but for his people, a freedom fighter, someone standing against injustice from a brutal, and machiavelic system. He got arrested, imprisoned, but his ennemies were still strong, and in power. In jail, Mandela could welcome new comers as more of his comrades got arrested,  and killed for the unlucky ones. You are full of hatred, meaning out of happiness, we all know that hatred and happiness can not get along, what a torture to be in jail, powerless and unhappy, where to get the power and happiness? Within yourself! 

To get rid of this burden of hatred, that causes unhappiness, Mandela found the solution: forgiveness.
By forgiving, he put his burden on the shoulder of his oppressors, relieving himself of the hatred therefore of the pain, in doing so, Mandela found a way to be free in prison. Forgiveness is a great way to relieve yourself from pain to allow happiness to come to you. Mandela unloaded his hatred, that burden on his enemies to carry the guilt of the pain inflicted to him, what a torment for them knowing the level of hatred they have for black people. How can you be happy if you hate, especially when you hate black people, in a country where 80% of the population is black? On top of that, Mandela forgives you, pushing his people to do the same, what a mighty revenge! People who hate you, who want to destroy you by all means, but whom you forgive, how can they find peace and happiness? If only they sow love, if they don't, time will pass, they will be defeated - the law of nature is clear "you reap what you sow" and "karma will take is course". Because of forgiveness, no matter how great he was, Robert Sobukwe was surpassed by Mandela. Madiba knew how to create an egregore to allow his people to be at peace, to be happy, despite the pain that apartheid has inflicted on them - you are subjugated, poor and full of hatred, how can you be happy? Free yourself from pain, free yourself from hatred with forgiveness, suffering will then be on the side of your oppressors, and, of course, total freedom will come.

When you hurt people so badly, you expect retaliation or revenge, but you get forgiveness, which does not take away the guilt, but increases it in suspicion, and sadness, what a torture to be forgiven if you don't show love to the person who forgave you, you will feel more guilty, "with what I did to you, you forgive me?, it's not possible!" Are humans capable of forgiving? Mandela did.

Even if you see another race as animals, but shepherds, farmers love their animals even though some will be killed, and others sold, that's how they are at peace and happy to do their job. 

People misinterpret their feeling when they feel fine with the act which should be forgiveness, and can handle the pain caused, they think the feeling is forgiveness. How can we realize that it is forgiveness? When things between the two people go back to how they were before what brings forgiveness to the table, no hatred, no anger, no animosity but compassion.

One may wonder how Nelson Mandela forgives his oppressors but what about his wife? The apartheid regime was his enemy, Winnie Mandela, his love.

Marius C. Oula